Make Thanksgiving Memorable by Getting Your Contractors License

by | License Stuff

roasted turkey on white ceramic plate
Accurate photo of my last Thanksgiving dinner.

I don’t know about you.

I barely know about me.

But one thing I do know —

My thanksgivings are memorable.

Mostly because I have the memory of a 5-year-old piano prodigy who is also slightly autistic.

Wow, you never thought you’d read that on a Contractor School website, did you?

Well, that’s because we’re ballers.

Mostly, off the course.

Except for one of our staff members: he’s actually a baller.


Like that time your uncle went crazy on politics then ate the entire ham (but the ham was still alive and in the form of a pig and your uncle is a rabid carnivore).

Or maybe you are your uncle.

Maybe you turned manic and OCD and got crazy into origami and hand-crafted twenty-seven hundred paper airplanes in one day and then burned them in a bonfire and then turned into a werewolf when the moon glinted upon you and then buried the hatchet with your best friend from middle-school.

Okay but.

You know what would be better than all of that?

Getting your Contractors License.

There is still time.

There is always time to turn your life around.

It doesn’t matter how old you are.

Thanksgiving, this year, will be so much better and so much more memorable and you’ll be so much more thankful if you do yourself a favor and get your contractors license.

You’ll be able to show your momma your license.

You’ll be able to crack open a cold one and tell your family: I did it.

I enrolled in school.

I passed the tests.

You can do it.

We believe in you.

Then again, we also believe in werewolves.

You might be actual idiots.

But we’re the idiots who are going to help you get your contractors license and watch you sail into your destiny.

Don’t sign up with one of these others schools: they’re a bunch of bozos with boring curriculum.

We wrote our law manual ourselves and it’s brilliant with a heaping of turkey and gravy and eggnog and cranberry and smoked ham.

We wrote it in such a way that the material will stick in your brain.

You’ll be dreaming of the things you’ll learning.

You might even become a sleep-walker: or a sleep-contractor. You’ll start doing construction in your sleep because we accidentally hypnotized you.


Our Online Diamond Course Will Make You Thankful.

contractor diamond online course. The best way to get your license.

Enroll in our online zoom sessions.

We’ll ship you your books.

We’ll go over the law manual entirely.

Practice Tests

Yeah, we’ll give you practice tests.

We can even guarantee, if you do all of our coursework, that you’ll pass the state exams and get your contractors license.

Make California proud.

Make us proud.

Make yourself proud.

Make that hobo you saw in the streets that one time proud.

By pardoning yourself and your mistakes,
And getting your contractors license.

Now’s the fatty time.

Let’s fatty do it.

And then we’ll reminisce.

And we’ll thank God.

At the long dinner table.

When all is said and done and the turkey has been passed around and the eggnog has run dry, there will still be one thing leftover:

Your Contractors License.

Additional Resources:

Construction Guru Extraordinaire

Construction Guru Extraordinaire







Hey, it’s me. Jack Anthony. I wrote these posts. If it helped you go ahead and leave a comment down below and checkout our courses. Other than that good luck getting your contractors license. And may the odds be ever in your favor.

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