I would never lie to you: we’re the best Contractor School in Temecula, California. And maybe even California, California.
The question is, would you ever lie to yourself?
That’s deep, yeah?
Okay, here are the top 10 reasons our school in Temecula is the best school of all time.
Reason 1 – Our staff is trained in the Arts of Martial.
The Arts of Martial should not be confused with Martial Arts. If an intruder were to intrude upon us, we wouldn’t necessarily be able to side kick them in their frame, but we probably would be able to kick side them.
If that makes any sense.
Reason 2 – We’re the funniest.
Our CEO made us all go to clown school before he would hire us at the contractor school. We’ve all been traumatized. Life sucks.
Please sign up with us.
Reason 3 – Our curriculum is top notch.
As in, Top Notch.
As in, the guy who created Minecraft.
Or as in, Notch in your Belt.
Either way, our material — our law manual specifically — was handcrafted on the planet Krypton.
And it might even save the world.
And it might even save your life.
Reason 4 – We only drink Evian water.
Because we’re cool.
Like Meg Ryan.
Reason 5 – 90s movie references.
Some of us make 90s movie references and the rest of us are sleeping in seattle.
Reason 6 – We’ve seen the original Superman film (collectively) 300 times.
300 is a prime number.
That’s just a fact.
Reason 7 – Our staff really wants to help you.
We’ll help you with anything: not just getting your contractor’s license.
Do you need us to give you the inspiration you need to call a senator? Do you need us to give you a churro to cure your low blood sugar? Do you need us to watch ‘Willy Wonka’ with you and talk about the glory days?
Whatever you need, we have it.
We even have 8 tracks and vinyl records to spare.
Reason 8 – 80 movie references.
The only thing better than 90s movie references are 80s movie references.
‘Say Anything’ was the greatest movie ever made, kick-boxing is the sport of the future, and the Terminator will always be back.
Just like us.
Reason 9 – We might disappear one day in a ‘freak gasoline fight accident.’
This one, I feel like, is self-explanatory.
Reason 10 – This is the last and final reason and the most important one yet. All of us were beat by our fathers at a young age.
In Mario Cart.
And this makes us great people.
Aren’t we all, aren’t we all, great people?
Shakespeare one said, “Sign up for the Contractor School in Temecula.”
It’ll change your life.
You need to enroll so that you can learn everything we can teach you: which is this: everything you need to know to pass your state exams.
Once you pass your trade and your law test you will be well on your way.
And maybe even in a well.
Call to make an appt.
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