That depends on how long it takes you to bing-watch the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy. Just kidding. That’s irrelevant, but also not. Because the process you’re about to embark on is a journey. It’s gonna take a little bit of time. Our classes technically take only four weeks. Our home study program goes faster. You can cram in the classes and material much faster, and you can also cram eleven cookies into your VCR.

But the process of getting your contractors license in the beautiful state of California (more on that later) takes at least two or more months. It takes the states a few weeks, anywhere from four to eight (somethimes longer) to process your application. They may get faster one day. They also may take up fry cooking as a side gig. That’s not a joke. Fry cooks are important. I might become one. I made a pancake today.

Moving on, after the state processes your application they give you a test date. Once you pass your tests you will receive your provisional license number. Then you will have to get a Surety bond and a livescan. And pass an open-book asbestos test. After all of that is over, and you’ve watched the new Batman movie, you’ll get your license.

Sound confusing?

Enroll in our classes and we’ll clear that up right away.

And then you’ll see clearly, because the rain will be gone.

I kinda, sorta answered this question in the earlier question, but if you insist on asking twice I will insist that you stop insisting and that you close the door on your way out of my floral-printed office. As I sit behind my desk, which is covered in Star Wars action figures, and contemplate the meaning of life.

CSLB is sometimes slow. And it’s sometimes fast. They take usually four to eight weeks. Give or take. To process applications.

Okay, time to watch Sweeney Todd.

You’re looking at us.

We’re right here.

Near.

And even if we’re far, you can enroll in our homeschool or online programs.

Or you can join a circus and get some paid-for traveling in the corpus of your life. (That was the weirdest sentence I’ve ever written. I am so sorry).

Remember in class when they took roll-call and you had to raise your hand and say your name? I do.

It’s kinda like that.

In order to get your license, you have to show up. That’s the main requirement.

Some people wait thirty years to make it happen because… they’re thinking…

You can think your way into nothingness.

So how about stop thinking and start acting. That is the only way to write the story of your life.

The main requirements to get your license are as follows: you must have four years of experience in your trade, you must have a social security number or an ITIN number, and finally you must be baptized.

The last one, of course, is a joke.

That’s all folks.

Jump in the water.

It’s super cold, and it’s gonna sting a little, but if you wait thirty years you’re going to regret.

And if you’ve already waited thirty years, don’t get down on yourself. Now’s your time. You’re never too old to dream another dream.

If you’re alive, you’re meant for something. You have to believe that.